So, the age old dilemma of having a baby has reared its head. What do you call the mucus covered poo machine once it comes out? For one, mucus covered poo machine, or MCPM doesn't work. At least not with my wife. Probably not with yours either. It would be easier if the name came on the toe, or as a hood ornament or something, but I don't think there's anything like that when there's a baby involved. In fact, I think that quite often, the more instruction you've had, the harder it is. Tab A+ Slot A= Baby. So, what to call aforementioned baby?
If it's a boy: Me: "Jr.?" Her: "No". Me: "Roland Daniel" Her: "No". Me: "Ryan O'Brien" Her: "No". (I see a pattern developing). Me: "George Thomas" Her: "No". Me: "Ronald Wilson" Her: "No". Me: "Glenn Beck" Her: "No". Me: "Thomas Albert" Her: "No". Me: "Drew Brees" Her: "No". Me: "Mohmmad Ali" Her: "No". Me: "Jesus Mohamet" Her: "No". Me: "You don't love Jesus?" Her: "I do, but as a name, no". Me: (Looking At Her) Her: "No". Me: "Ryan Joseph" Her: "As a Jr., No". Me: "II" Her: "Only if we call him R.J." Me: "Yes dear." 1st Son Name, Done. . . I think.
If it's a girl: Me: "Victoria Marie" Her: "No". Me: "Elizabeth Rose" Her: "No". Me: "Barbara Jenna" Her: "No, are these old girlfriends?" Me: "No". Her: “Eldred Eula” Me: (Smile) Her: “NO!” Her: "Audrey Claire" Me: "Yes dear." (Though I think it would be cool if she grows up to marry someone with a 'C' last name. Then she can be AC/DC.)
Daddy hugs are the best.
http://ryanandwhitneydeis.blogspot.com/
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
The Roland Project
So, it only took me 30+ years to get to LEGOLAND. I joked all weekend about Whitney carrying a kid. We had strong suspicions confirmed by two tests, then confirmed by a trip to the doctor (for another test, which I suspect is the same test we used at home). Positive. She's Pregnant. I helped :).
When I was young, and Paul Harvey was still old, he used to tell, "The Rest of the Story." Whitney is telling her side of the story, but I'll provide the rest of the background on why our kids will take us on daytime TV and tell us how we screwed up their lives (mostly my fault).
On our way back home, I humored my wife (since not humoring pregnant women can lead to a shortened lifespan and inability to make woman pregnant again) by stopping at Target. Before we got there, we got word from the hospital that their test was just as accurate as our two tests at home. We managed to resist purchasing anything baby related, and it wasn't until after we got out, that my wife realized that the Baby's R Us store was next door. We shared our Slurpee and I pressed the accelerator. 1st pregnancy crisis averted. Wal-Mart was uneventful. Regardless, this is the start of the Roland Project. Based on the dates projected from all of the experts (who have free access websites with gimmicky calculators) they project a 17 March birth. If that's the case, I want to name the kid Ryan O'Brien. I'm hoping for a 13 March birth so we only have to decorate once for a party (and, it's an excuse to put Legos back on my birthday list, "For Roland"). For those who don't know why it's called "The Roland Project", that's the mock name for our unborn child. Say it with the last name. If you don't get it, say it faster. If you still don't get it, tell somebody else. Now laugh with us.
Now, this morning Whitney went to the hospital to get some tests started and get some vitamins. The receptionist told her, "that giving birth will be much easier than it was to get my prescription filled." Birth is a God process, prescriptions at a military hospital are a government process. Of course it will be easier. Getting past the bureaucracy is the hard part.
When I was young, and Paul Harvey was still old, he used to tell, "The Rest of the Story." Whitney is telling her side of the story, but I'll provide the rest of the background on why our kids will take us on daytime TV and tell us how we screwed up their lives (mostly my fault).
On our way back home, I humored my wife (since not humoring pregnant women can lead to a shortened lifespan and inability to make woman pregnant again) by stopping at Target. Before we got there, we got word from the hospital that their test was just as accurate as our two tests at home. We managed to resist purchasing anything baby related, and it wasn't until after we got out, that my wife realized that the Baby's R Us store was next door. We shared our Slurpee and I pressed the accelerator. 1st pregnancy crisis averted. Wal-Mart was uneventful. Regardless, this is the start of the Roland Project. Based on the dates projected from all of the experts (who have free access websites with gimmicky calculators) they project a 17 March birth. If that's the case, I want to name the kid Ryan O'Brien. I'm hoping for a 13 March birth so we only have to decorate once for a party (and, it's an excuse to put Legos back on my birthday list, "For Roland"). For those who don't know why it's called "The Roland Project", that's the mock name for our unborn child. Say it with the last name. If you don't get it, say it faster. If you still don't get it, tell somebody else. Now laugh with us.
Now, this morning Whitney went to the hospital to get some tests started and get some vitamins. The receptionist told her, "that giving birth will be much easier than it was to get my prescription filled." Birth is a God process, prescriptions at a military hospital are a government process. Of course it will be easier. Getting past the bureaucracy is the hard part.
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